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Monday, April 5, 2010

Dear Diary

Yesterday I lost some friends...

Today I lost my phone, along with the memories inside...

What’s next?

Well, why bother? This is nothing compared to my previous losses. I don’t need to cry my heart out for some little specks of misery.

How I wished I could turn back time. I could trade everything I have to spin the minutes back to before things got really messy.

But then, this thought occured to me:

To when, exactly?

I had my life messed up a bunch of times. Mostly done by my own hand. And everytime it happened, how I pray that time would stop. Or I could just die at that instant, so that I don’t have to deal with the pain... the guilt... the anger.

I guess, what I really need is my heart back. I wonder if it’s still inside me somewhere. I can feel its beating, but I guess that’s just an obligation. It makes me feel so biologically human, makes me feel biologically alive, but that’s just it. It does not makes me feel like a... person.


Coz tomorrow I’m gonna be fine. Tomorrow, everything would be a sunshine again. But wait! I hate sunshine! It makes the air so humid. And I’ll be sweating! Oh crap...! ^^

Sabtu. 3Apr'09

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