Peraturan jalan raya pada abad ke 21.

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Zaman maju sekarang ni, semuanya dah berubah. Even peraturan jalan pun dah lain skang. Peraturan baru ni tak termaktub kat buku. Kalau korang tanya JPJ pon, diorang tak tau. Tapi, semua rakyat Malaysia yang lain tau peraturan ni. Mungkin ini la yang dinamakan Indie Road Law (korang ingat band je yang main Indie2 ni?)

Jadi, pastikan korang hafal benda ni baik2 supaya korang pun turut jadi macam orang lain. Baru la cool.


Lane tengah:
Laluan untuk pemandu perlahan atau sederhana laju. Juga sebagai laluan lori dan bas.
*Anda akan sakit jiwa kalau cuba bawak laju di lane ini*

Lane kiri (yang pertama):
Laluan untuk kereta yang bawak kurang dari 60km/j (Sabar itu separuh daripada iman...). Juga laluan untuk kenderaan berat iaitu lori besar gadang. Tidak dilupa, berfungsi sebagai laluan memotong versi baru.
*Kalau korang nak bawak laju, tapi kurang dari 140km/j, memotonglah di laluan ini*

Lane kanan (yang ketiga):
Laluan khas untuk orang nak berak. (Yang bawak laju nak mati. Mungkin mereka tak sabar sebab tak tahan nak berak)
*Lane ini mengamalkan sikap pandu CEPAT, JIWA selamat. Kalau korang setakat bawak 120 je kat sini, korang akan diajak berdisko oleh orang belakang. Tak caya? Cuba try. Mesti orang belakang main2 lampu, ataupun hon2 kat korang. Kan meriah tu...*

Laluan kecemasan:
Tempat Abe Lori parking lori besar gadang diorang sementara nak kencing atau makan nasi lemak. Juga untuk korang main potong2 waktu jammed musim raya. Tak pun tempat untuk korang lepak2 sambil tengok DVD Korea kat TV kecik kereta korang.
*Ambulans jangan sibuk kat laluan ni, okeh! Kitorang busy okeh!*

Garisan pembahagi jalan (yang putih putus2):
Laluan khas untuk para penunggang main zig zag. Dengan seronok diorang menyelit kat laluan ni untuk mengelakkan traffic jam, atau sekadar untuk kekwat ngan kereta lain sebab motor kurus, kereta gemuk.
*Sape berani langgar motor yang tengah happy bermain di sini akan dapat maki hamun percuma + bayar ganti rugi motor diorang. Maklumlah, jalan ni kan bapak diorang yang punya...*

Spoiler Alert! Shrek Forever After. Rooooaaaarrrrr!!!!!!

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I watched Shreak 4 yesterday. In 3D! Wohooooooooooo!!!!

3D animation is soooo amazing! The pictures look as though they are floating in the air, and sometimes they look as if they are coming out off the screen! Awesome! RM16 (including surcharges) is sooooo worth it, although the glasses looks like lady Gaga's (eeewww!) but the quality of the shots are sooooo captivating! I wanna get myself a 3D TV!!!!!!

So, anyone wanna sponsor me a 3D TV? Coz the 3D tv are soOoo expensive!

Anyone???

(Ye... Aku memang batak, sebab first time tengok cerita 3D. Hahahha... Macam panda masuk Malaysia!)

Anywayzzz...!~

The movie was awesome! I don't know if it's because I watched it in 3D or because I watched it with a bunch of goofy friends (opps!) but the movie surely got thumbs up from me. Yayyyyy!!!!!!

I mean, who could have thought a fairy tale movie could have such a twist? You gave out only ONE single day of your life to get a day of your dream, but turn out that THAT one single day you lost HAS CHANGED THE WORLD!!!

Well, that's what happen to Shrek. Like ALL HUSBANDS in the world , eventually the idea of marriage and family starts to feel like a pain in the buttocks, and all he could ever dreamt of ever since is a day that he could feel like a bachelor again (Guys, trust me. You'll be like this too. Just wait! Haha...).

So Shrek made a reckless contract with a wizard - he will get his "one day off" if he is willing to give up the day when he was born. Ok, sounds complicated, but... whatever! Go watch the movie and you'll know!

But instead of getting to enjoy his life being an ogre again (JFYI, after marrying Fiona, he's not the same ogre anymore. He's more like an oggy - not as terrifying no more), he found himself dumped into a huge chaos, where the fairy tale country doesn't feel happily magical anymore.

.....and Fiona has never been saved by her one true love... And she became a leader of an Ogre Resistance. Wow! She's tough!

......and donkey - well, he still talks and sings too much, but he never knew Shrek! And he never got married to the HUGE dragon and never got those tiny donkdragons (I mean, seriously! How can a donkey get together with a dragon? How do they... I mean, got intimate? o_0)

......and Puss in Boots has lost his awesomeness, and got waayyy tooo fat and tooo cuddly, and he's got ribbon in his furry neck! Awww cute!!! But don't worry, he still have his kitten-eyes charm. AWWWWWWW I WANT TO HUG HIM!!!!

And Cookie (is it the right name?) is... errr... still a biscuit, except that he has a weapon now. A lollipop! Oooouuu scary!~

And so, like any other fairy tale, a ONE TRUE LOVE kiss is needed for the spell to be broken. But, in this case, the one needed to have one true kiss is the GUY! Shrek! Hahahaaaa... That is soooo wrong! ^o^

Ok, enough spoiler. Cakap banyak tak guna, lu pegi tengok sendiri. But overall, I love the twist, love the plot, love the intro, and totally in love with the jokes! But there are a few minutes of boredom in the middle though. But don't worry, it was only for a few short minutes.

Hence, I give the movie 4 stars!!!

Pissed in peace

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This post is not meant to be racist. But it may sound a little disturbing for those who makan cili. (I meant to say "siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedasnya" lol.)

I got a call about a job I was applying online. The caller (a Chinese lady) would like to tell me that I got shortlisted, and that she and I need to meet up. And one statement stunned me:

"Are you a typical Malay girl?"

I was too confused to be pissed, so I asked, "What do you mean by "typical Malay"?

She answered, "you know, with tudung, and big clothes, very quiet one..."

Just so you know, the way she said it sounds insulting. As if wearing tudung and tutup aurat is something very embarrassing. And, 'quiet'??? But still, I acted cool. "Yeah. I'm THAT kind of girl, except for the 'quiet' part. Sorry about that." (Hey, of course I'm not apologizing for tutup aurat. I was just being cynical!)

Probably sensing I felt insulted, she topped: "Sorry. But, you know. I'm just worried that you might not know how to speak English. You know, typically Malay girl don't know how to speak English, and this job requires you to speak English a lot..."

Ok. Insulting much! Just so you know, before these statements went up, I spoke to her totally in English. And she didn't seem to not understand what I said at all (if she didn't understand, she'd be like "what did you say?", right?) Not to brag or anything, but my spoken English is totally fine! Of course, not perfect, but still...!

And on the contrary, her English sounds too Chinese, making it hard for me to understand her speaking! She got to set her tongue straight first, before judging other people's!!!!

And, anyway... What do typical Chinese and typical Indian suppose to look like? And don't say typical Sabahan only wear their Kaamatan clothes, coz that is sooo wrong!

Oh Mak! Beratnya kamus ni!

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Kamus Dewan... Kamus Dwibahasa... Tapi since sekarang ni dah zaman canggih, orang pakai kamus Besta yang ada tandatangan Dr. Fazley tu je.. Semua kamus tebal tu pulak kita cuma guna untuk buat belajar catwalk ataupun letak kat perut waktu senaman sit-up. Hahahaa.... Opss!

Dan memandangkan zaman dah canggih jugak, nampaknya tak lama lagi ada la pulak Kamus SMS (pesanan ringkas) oleh Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka. Tak caya?

Korang cuba bukak ni: http://www.dbp.gov.my/khidmatsms.pdf dan buka page 7 perenggan ke-2.

Kalau korang rajin, korang baca la sepenuhnya. As for me, memandangkan banyak sangat tulisan panjang lebar dalam tu, aku setakat usha-usha je.

Aku tak nak condemn sangat pasal apa yang ditulis kat dalam tu, memandangkan tulisan tu adalah untuk dijadikan rujukan dalam SMS rasmi. Tapi cuba korang tengok ni:

Korang rasa ada ke orang gunakan perkataan dalam collumn "singkatan salah" tu untuk tujuan rasmi? I mean, c'mon la. Our broken language must sound stupid, but we're not THAT stupid. Anyway, other than that, risalah panduan ni at least boleh kita gunakan untuk tujuan rasmi, contohnya mesej Perdana Menteri untuk bertanya khabar...

Tapi, korang tak rasa ke yang SMS tu satu cabang seni? Waktu kita SMS tu, kita curahkan segala daya kreativiti kita untuk ringkaskan sehabis mungkin mesej kita sebab kita kedekut nak bazirkan another 1 sen untuk page seterusnya (benda lain boleh bazir! Mesej 1 sen pon nak berkira!). Dah tu, kita juga kena pastikan mesej kita juga dilengkapi emosi, bukan sekadar mesej kosong. Kan ke kreatif tu?

Hurm... Aku tak la pandai ringkaskan mesej sebab aku tak kedekut. Lagipun aku ske tulis panjang2 macam "muuuuaaahs!" dan "sukeeeeenyeeeee". Hahahaha saje nak mengada, walaupun penat taip.

But whatever it is, lepas ni kalau aku nak SMS menteri, aku kena bukak kamus dulu. Ooolala!~

Mis Tres Hermanas

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Mis Tres Hermanas is back you 'ollz!~
(Sila pronounce "you 'ollz" dengan penuh enthusiastic. Tambah sengau2 sikit, tambahkan serak2 manja... Ala2 nyah gitu, you 'ollz!~)

Those who are born in before 90's should all know this telenovela. Kenapa? 'Coz this is one of the first Mexican (Venezuela, sebenarnya) telenovela in Malaysia! It was a hit when it was aired 7 or 8 years ago in ntv7. Dan sesiapa yang tak kenal telenovela ni waktu tu memang duduk kat bawah tempurung kelapa atau tak ada TV.

Telenovela ni ngan Yo Soy Betty La Fea memang digilai ramai. Even the boys are watching too, you 'ollz!~ Waktu aku form 1 (kat asrama) most of us would ditch evening prep hanya untuk lari tengok telenovela tu, tau!

Hahahahaahah... Aku tak tau la nape aku excited sangat bile citer ni ada balik. Aku bukan peminat citer Venezuela dah. Sekarang zaman drama Korea you 'ollz!~ Tak main lah minah2 Venezuela yang tinggi lampai yang takde benda lain nak tunjuk selain tiga perempat daripada dua gunungnya (baju diorang seksi sangat, you 'ollz!~ Tak sangguo akak!), plus muka cun melecun diorang and body macam patung Barbie yang buat kita orang Asia ni terpegun kejap.

Orang Korea lagi best! Diorang pendek macam kita. Seksi diorang takde la teruk sangat sebab takde benda yang nak ditayang kat lelaki (body diorang kurus sangat, you 'ollz~ takde aset! Opss!) dan takde benda nak dijeleskan oleh pompuan (except muka diorang super cute dan super putih dan super flawless! Power of BB Cream. Yang itu kite sebagai orang perempuan ni, kena jelez, you 'ollz~)

Korean's SNSD
Ceh! Negara diorang tak panas. Boleh la putih camni! (jelez)

Ok, berbalik kepada cerita Mis Tres Hermanas.

Aku tak tahu apa maksud tajuk tu. Ye la, dulu orang Malaysia mana tahu internet semua ni... Even hotmail pon diorang ingat kuih!

Tapi dulu member aku kata maksud dia "Tiga Dara Pingitan". Percayalah! Memang tu la maksud dia

(lepas aku search, maksud dia "My Three Sisters". Ceh! Sapa yang berani tipu aku dulu????)

New Game: EAU CYB!

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It's a long semester break, I'm jobless, and I got nothing better to do. So what I do during the day?

Play Eau Cyb!

JFYI, that's the new term that I've been calling it. Short for Eat-All-U-Can-Since-You're-Bored (EAU CYB). Or informally, lots of us call it "Mengembala Lemak". And usually in English they'd rather call it "being a PIG", but since I'm not a big fan of H1N1, let's call it "being a COW" instead, bcoz cow is cuter.Anyway, the EAU CYB game is basically about you searching for any edible things in the house - the fridge, the kitchen, or you can cook something so you can fill up your time by eating them all.

Trick to this game:
Never eat heavy food that makes you feel full easily, e.g. rice, bread, potatoes. Forget the nutrients and balancing diet! We're talking about junk food here. More calories, more fun! More you eat, more more fun!!!

This game is neverending. You challenge yourself to eat without contempleting the consequences. Haha... Isn't that fun??? C'mon... I know you lot are doing the same.... We're all EAU CYBing when bored, aren't we?

And of course, it's not a healthy game. Like any other game like dotA and whatsoever, it keeps you from being fit, thus makes you fat.

That's why I've been stocking up the fridge with apples. Lots and lots of apples! An apples a day keeps the doctors away. Five apples a day keeps my flabs away...and I don't have to eat rice anymore! (I despise rice almost all the time!)

So let's EAUCYBing!!!~

Btw, this is not me. Just a pic I got from Grandpa Yahoo.

Mahasa Nyiwa Mangsa

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(maksudnya: Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa, kalau disebut waktu sengau tatkala traffik dalam rongga pernafasan sesak)

Sepanjang cuti yang panjang ni, memandangkan sepanjang masa aku dipenuhi dengan masa yang sangat terluang, aku dengan penuh iltizam berusaha untuk menjadi perempuan (?)

Ya. Aku yang berjantina perempuan ini cuba menjadi perempuan.

By that, maknanya masa terluang aku diisi dengan:

1. Membaca novel, especially novel jiwang (Cis, public library memang suka bazirkan air mata aku!)
2. Belajar memasak (Resepi dari internet. Perhatian, penulis resepi tu semua penipu! Apahal masakan aku tak jadi macam gambar? Rasa pon macam makanan kucing je. Eeeek!)
3. Menulis puisi dan cerpen (Jangan risau, aku takkan suruh korang baca. Kesihatan minda korang masih terjamin)
4. Usha2 blog orang lain yang serba chomel dan menarik (sampaikan keyakinan aku terhadap blog aku jadi sama rendah dengan punggung)
5. Usha2 magazine Cleo, Dara.com, ngan Remaja yang lama2 sambil berangan nak jadi cantik macam model2 kat situ

Okeh. Senang cerita, semua aktiviti aku memerlukan aku MEMBACA. Heh, bosan betul jadi pompuan timur yang tak berduit ni. Tapi alang-alang, meh aku promosikan kempen membaca:


Tapi yang paling aku tak puas hati adalah, bahasa pertuturan aku jadi semakin baik. Macam baru ni tadi, waktu aku komen kasut Bata yang mak aku beli untuk aku:

"Ibu punya citarasa berlainan dengan citarasa Melati. Tapi tidak mengapalah, kasut ini kelihatan selesa."

Sila perhatikan perkataan yang aku besarkan. Serius, aku memang sebut sebijik2 macam tu, sampaikan aku sendiri rasa geli! Gramatis sungguh ungkapanku!

Selalu aku akan cakap something like "Taste ibu lain la ngan taste Melati. Tapi takpela. Sedap gak kasut ni"

Cikgu Haianah!!! Pasti cikgu berbangga mempunyai anak murid yang mengikut sunnah2 Bahasa Melayu ini!!!!!