Fun(k) Facts about Stye (ketumbit)

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I have stye on my eye and I feel so special coz nobody else got it~

Having this great buddy making love with my eyelid for several days already really makes me learned a lot. And all these are the never-before-written facts about having a stye:

FunkFact #1

Stye makes your eye looks like chicken’s butt. No, seriously. The swollen flabby-looking eyelid is pinkish, and the eyelashes looks like unplucked feathers from a chicken’s butt sold in night market.

Check out this chic! (I mean, the stye, though it’s not so clear):

This is not the pic of Rihanna. This is Megi Fox, her plastic surgeon mistakenly injected silicon on the eye instead of the lips, that's why she's upset.

FunkFact #2

Everytime you check your uninfected eye in the mirror, you realize: “wow, this eye is sooooo pretty! Why didn’t I realize it before? With this eye, I could charm any cool guy out there!” But then you realize that your eye looks so pretty because it’s been compared to the ugly styed-eye. Yeah, sit next to ugly people, and you’ll look prettier. Come, sit next to me, you'll feel so lucky.

FunkFact #3

The slimy thing you collect from your nose-picking (tahi hidung la!) cannot cure your stye. Goose, whoever started this myth must have been a smartass PKR politician – spread brainless rumors but still people believed it. And the idiots who believed this were probably------ err, nevermind, coz I was one of the idiots too when I was a kid. But I you were too, right? You did believed it, right? Right? Ahaa, don’t deny it!

No, mister. Don't pick your nose for my stye. It won't disgustingly work.

FunkFact #4

Pharmacies usually will provide you with creams to fight conjunctival infection (infection on the outer layer of the eyeball), and they will smack you hard if you try to mention: “it’s my eyelid, not my eyeball!”. Truth is, they are unable to give out antibiotics because only certified pharmacist are allowed to do so; And the fact that they only give you shitty creams are because the shop owner is too poor to hire a pharmacist, or the pharmacist are probably slacking off doing the chicken dance elsewhere.

Is this guy a pharmacist?

FunkFact #5

Private clinic charge you RM30++ for stye medicine. If you're broke, like me, there goes 5 times your lunch money. General clinics charge you nothing, but the medicines have the powerful ability to give you no good effect.

FunkFack #6

By going to clinics, you are hereby agreed to be treated as a brainless mammals. Because it is a common practice for a doctor to wisely tell you their default comments setting:

"It seems like you have a -----insert the non-scientific name of the illness here-----".

Wiser doctors will also add this default genius sentences:

“Don’t worry. The ----insert the name again------ won’t kill you”
or this: “does it hurt?”.

Yeah, years in medical school only taught them little things…