When the song hit you right on spot!

What is my horoscope predict for me today? IS IT "Your past will come back to you"? OR IS IT "Something will make your heart glitch and it is you to decide to do nothing or let your heart fell for it"?



Either way, does it matter? Someone from my past came back to my present, except that that person's returning was not much a present for me. It's more like a mere "Asam Pedas Negeri Sembilan" - so sensational at the first taste, but the more I eat, the hotter I felt, and before I knew it, even cups of milk couldn't heal the pain on my tastebuds! And since I'm not a spicy-food eater, "Asam Pedas Nogori" is such a painful experience for me....



And this morning when I learned about that person-from-my-past's comeback, and to know that that person had moved on smoothly while I'm still trapped in blue, my mind can't focus on anything. I can't even focus on my food! (I usually love eating, but not at this time...)



And later I found another fact that I was blamed for my disappearance from a certain person. Well, I figured out from a friend, so I can't be sure of the exact factual conversation, but this kinda make me pissed off!



And both the fact.....



I learned.....



When this song was accidentally played in my MP3:

No sir,
well I don't wanna be the blame,
not anymore.
It's your turn,
to take a seat we're settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt so much?
I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why?
All the possibilities...
Well I was wrong

That's what you get when you let your heart win.
That's what you get when you let your heart win.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win.

I wondered,
how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try holding onto silly things,
I never learn.
Oh why?
All the possibilities.

I'm sure you've heard.

That's what you get when
you let your heart win.
That's what you get when you let your heart win.
I drowned out all my sense with the
sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win.

Pain, make your way to me.
And I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let's start... Start,
hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That's what you get when you let your heart win!

Beauty and The Beast

I just watched the animation movie Beauty and The Beast. That was my first time watching (surprising, I know. I mean, it's a must-see movie to be watched back when I was a kid, and the movie had been on screen for about a decade, I think).

Well, I wanna make a confesion.

It may sound lame, but.....







I cried!

True! I cried watching it! Well, for those who know me should know that I dont cry for silly reasons. And to cry over the injured prince who I knew all along that he was gonna have his HAPPY EVER AFTER in a minute... for a 19-year-olds, that was SILLY.




But there's one thing that came to my mind:

If the worse-looking is the guy, we call "Beauty and the Beast". But what about of the not-so-good looking (well, i cant say ugly...that's harsh, even for me...) is the girl?







Handsome and the Hare?

BECAUSE I'M HOT! And they are, too.

• My class would start in 5 minutes but I didn't care. I went back to hostel which took me about 10 minutes just so I can drive to grab an iced cocounut at the stalls outside the campus. Why? BECAUSE I'M HOT! And a cocounut drink is so refreshing (and my fav~)
• Instead of walking to class which only take about 10 minutes if one only walk slowly, Miss N drove her Spike to class, which took her about 15 minutes (travelling, find parking spot, and walk to the building. Why? BECAUSE SHE'S HOT! And with the sun blazing HOT, walking only makes her sweat.
• The guy I saw in the parking area this morning had a red face. Why? Because HE'S BURNING HOT inside after found out there was a tiny scratch on his Satria and he never realize it before.
• I met a girl in a sexy top yesterday near the post office (not that I care, I'm not a lesbo anyway). If anybody ever asked her why she dressed up that way, I wonder what she'd answer. Maybe, "BECAUSE I'M HOT"?
• In hell, there'd be a lot of screaming and moaning. If you ever wonder why, you'll know the people screamed because THE HELL IS HELLISHLY HOT and they are burning inside, screaming "THIS IS HOT!". By then, the HOTNESS they felt before they died felt so WARM and COZY....

SO that's mean I'm CRAZY? Hell, NO!

I googled out about mental illnesses for my writing (I love to write stories, just for fun). I came across several mental illness - phobias and disorders. And I also discover something - I have ALL the symptoms of a disorder called.......

Err...

I'm not gonna name it here. It's just too awkward to be said out loud. Well, people hardly notice the symptoms in me (or at least that's what I think), and that's exactly one of the symptoms!

Well, that's one clue I give you.

It's not something harmful, really, but it's crushing me from the inside, very slowly. The effect is gonna take place in me soon, little by little, as was told by those articles. If I don't change my attitude now, I'm gonna be crushed soon (hey, I'm not talking about insanity or anything, okay!).

But, seriously. Just imagine you are in my position. You discover that you have a certain mental disorder out of the blue. It's gonna crash you soon, but people will not notice that since the illness is gonna consume you so slowly that people just think you're just a normal care-free person who just being herself!

I dunno why I'm posting this. I don't even know why I care, since it's not a serious matter (as I see it. I mean, people will never think I'm crazy anyway). Adoi la... What am I writing?

Hari Keputeraan Selangor = Hari Meronggeng

MidValley - like a sardin can, packed with thousands of people wanting to spend their holiday with friends, partner, and family. But it's too crammed, and suffocating, and noisy! I don't think I have agoraphobia (afraid of public places or crowded places), but in such a place, I feel like I was having one, a serious one!

But I managed to survive anyway.

But I was all moody and anxious the whole day. I was faking a happy face all the time (but I can only do that halfway (-_-")) And with no movie (the line is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooo loooooooong!!!!), my moods was at its bottom ever! I hope my anxiety wasn't so obvious, but I think my frown was apparent!

So no need to describe about the whole situation.

But I met someone at the mall! He called out my name and he seemed to know me for long. o_O There's one name in my head - Apit (a petname. I'm sure his college friends don't call him that). But is he him? Really? What if I'm wrong? I didn't even dare to ask him anything. So..... I just call him by "weh" and "kau". What to do... I met Apit only a couple of times, and it was a looong time ago. We used to contact each other often, but not anymore. And plus, the capacity of my brain is so small, can't remember too much! Heh~

Ahaha.... What a shame! But now you know, that if I call you by "weh" or "ko" and not your name, hurm.... You know what that means.... LOL.

Movie? Hangguk Lu!

Ceh! This is what we called JANJI MELAYU! So excited giving out promises to treat for movies and stuff, and then got cancelled last minute. Haaa.... Baru prasan takde duit ke bang oi?

*~I'm officially MERAJUK with those guys~*




Ape buzz2? Aku tgh bad mood nih!

Layan je la... (malas2 taip -____-)

BUT don't think you'll get away with just a set of tosai at mamak's

And I won't take just a roti canai either!

More!!!! More!!!!!

Hahaaaaa..... You gonna regret that.......






** Study D. Lo lg baek ~_~ **





And to Syahir: Weyyyy..... No fair..... Our challenge (the movie ticket collection - who's gonna collect the most (see previous post))started last month. You can't just mixing your collection with old ones. No fair!~ I know I'm still far behind, but I'll catch you up in no time. You just wait till the day come ^O^

Movie for This Week

This is my first movie since I got back to college.

QUARANTINE

Was it just me or the movie is kinda frightening? I screamed twice at my seat. So embarrassing! But the lady sitting behind me seemed to be more frightened. She went "Allahu akbar" all the way! Haha... Funny lady...

The video... I kinda feel dizzy watching a view of the lens of the cameraman. The cameraman suppose to be a professional one, since he has to record a video for the host for a reality show (it's like a discovery program).

But the good thing about this movie is... it's not a ghost story - it's about a fatal disease which is similar to rabies but a worse one. So all the scary faces on the character makes a little sense, and we won't be like "oww.... that's so fake~" (although i think they overmade the character's faces). And the story is full of suspense, and makes us wanna know more on what's going on in the movie. I like it when I scream! ^o^

Overall, I give 3.5 out of 5! *Applause*

My opinion: You better watch it in the big screen, not on DVD or on PC - it'll make the suspense go away....

First Week (-_-")

Internet Connection

Good News: It had been upgraded.

Bad News: The connection is soooo damn slow, it took us almost half an hour to open a Yahoo! and almost impossible to open anything, even to open an intranet page (pages generated inside the college and only can be viewed by using the LAN port in our apartments).

And today we've finally know what did the department do to the connection. We got an email from the departnment saying:

To ensure a better and faster internet services by reducing some of this activities
a. Online gaming / LAN Party.
b. Video streaming / direct downloads.
c. File transfer via IM (yahoo messenger, skype, etc).
d. File sharing other than http's web server.
e. Tunneling for download unnecessary material
as it can cause negative effect to the network performance. If these activities still continue at the current level, web filtering software will be applied and certain websites blocking will be deploy starting this semester.

But the thing is.... the connection only make our connection worse! And they even reducing LAN Party? And video streaming? And direct downloads? And what did they mean by unnecessary downloads???Uggghhhhhhh!!!! These people never think!!!!! Are we paying RM245 per room per month just for this??? Ceh!!!

Retake Subject
I went to see my advisor to discuss about my current GPA. I usually don't like to be nagged, especially by someone I just met for the first time (I never met him before. Lousy advisee), but all his words really struck me with all the shot so accurate! He list out all my possible bad habits in class and my bad study style, which almost all of them are correct!

He advised me to retake 2 subjects, which cost RM1323 each! Mane nak cekau $$$$$???? So I decided to only retake 1 subject. Sorry sir!

Witch Guard
I fought with my old enemy, an Indian guard from last semester. Huh... So tiring. And I didn't give enough effort to pull her down (I'm trying to be a better person this sem...). I wrote about this this afternoon, but the saving was failed and I lost my story. Ceh! If I rajin, I'll write here OK!

What's On Thursday???

Thursday was awkward...

My step-brother stayed over the day before. My dad (I mean stepdad) was, as always, overjoyed.

I was (kind of) forced to follow my family to the Sunway Lagoon (I went there 3 weeks ago. So boring! But the whole family, including my 2 cousins were going, so I couldn't refuse...). The trip, was not a pain, but not pleasing either. I mean, you know... that little runt (the steppie) was a crybaby, had been spoiled too much by his parents, and the boys hated him. I didn't like him much either, but I had no choice but to let him join us (or else he'd cry. duh~). And the boys refused to walk with him, so I WAS THE ONE who have to babysit him. What a pain for a lazybum like me....

By the way, we didn't really take pictures - it was wet everywhere. And after we walked out of that place, we were too tired for any pix. But here's a pic of the boys...

For an appetizer, we bought J.Ko!!!!!!!! It's the first time for my family to taste J.Ko's doughnuts (they only eat Dunkin' and Big Apple before) and they were totally awed by it!

Then dine at Soho. Dad ordered too much lauk and we ended up leaving the food half eaten. What a waste!

And back home, retired. Huh... I was driving one of the car, and the traffic was conjested along the way back from Sunway. So tiring!

What was on Wednesday????

As promised, the 'refreshment' I was talking about earlier (as if you cared, haha..)

After all those days in confinement (well, I was ringgitless, and although I own a car, the petrol is my mom's, so I wasn't allowed to drive far, except this day. T.T )

I was sooooooo excited, I took mountain of pictures along the way. Don't worry, you won't have to look at all of them. Just a few bunch that I like it to be reviewed... ^o^







What is this? So much holes but only 2 windows, and all those bird-chirping echoing the place. But it doesn't look so bird-loving here....










SUNGAI RABA??? Sounds dangerous to the girls...

Lots of camwhores while driving. I really mean 'WHILE DRIVING!' at at least 70km/h. Hehe...

Wooo!!!! This place is far better than I expected!

CAMWHORING WHILE DRIVING IS DANGEROUS! DON'T TRY THIS AT YOUR OWN CAR!

Went to visit Makam Sultan at Jugra but the place is creepy, I didn't dare to enter!

The little girl in orange said hi to me. So cute!

No wonder Tiya love Econsave soooooo very much~

look at the mirror in McD Banting. Outside the toilet! Now how am I suppose to fix my makeup? XP

Tiya looks so calm while driving. But I look so pale everytime she brakes at the very last second!

Red light. Take some more pix...

Kenyang perut, suka hati, klik! klik!

What's she digging for? Oh well... Let her be. Hoho....

Time for eye checkup!

In order to find the chosen one...

Saja je... I just thought this is pretty....

What a dork!

The moment of truth - Tiya's choosing her partner... The frames she chose was stylish! I like it!!!

It's Terrible... I'm HALF PAST DEAD!

I just got the result for the exam, and it was horrible! I kinda expected things would turn out this way, and I thought I already prepared myself for this day. But when I see it with my own two eyes, I just... It was devastated! The next thing I knew, Pok We called and i realized that half an hour almost passed. Meaning I blacked out (with eyes open, i think) for almost half an hour!!!!

I thought of updating the blog with something refreshing, but that 'refreshment' shall wait. I don't feel alright at this moment....

DON'T HAVE TO READ. Just An Annoying Anguished Talk Of A Girl Who Love To Grumble

I don’t get it!

Why do people have to feel envious of other people’s happiness?? Why do they get in the way and destroy everything other people have??? It’s OK to feel jealous to see others happy, but evilly envious and sabotages??? And worse, ILMU HITAM????? TWICE????

Why can’t that person just leave the past and move on???? It’s not their fault your partner walked away!!!! You were the one who treated him like shit, cheated all his money, and took away all his treasure, and now that he has a new life you wanna destroy it???? He’s not gonna coming back to you no matter what evil plan you have, no matter how many hantu you send, he’s not gonna coming back to you!!!!!!!

If you really want him so badly, you just have to do what HUMAN do – being nice!!!!! Or at least, give him back some of his most precious treasures! Not acting so egoic and do all the sabotages!!!!! You are soooo a pathetic lonely woman who don’t know how to love and how to appreciate others’ loves!!!!!! So evil!!!!! Muka je cantik, hati macam setan!!!!!!!!

The Man Who Live In The Airport

I'm sure all of you ever heard or read about this man (it's in Yahoo! News anyway), but I still wanna write about it.

.

For 3 months since Sept. 2, Hiroshi Nohara had been living in the Terminal 1 Bernito Juarez International Airport, surviving off sleeping on a chair and foods from food donations from the passers-by and the restaurants (they give out foods for promotional purpose, since this guy attract tourists, despite how filthy he looks and how smelly he is).

It's not like he has no ticket to go back to Japan (since the Japan Embassy has gotten him a tourist visa and return-ticket home).

Btw, his look is... I suppose like any beggars suppose to be - scraggy goatee, dusty hair which is full of dandruff, dirty overuse jacket and fleece blanket, and of course terrible smell for not taking any shower for so long.

And his reason for this: "I don't understand why I'm here.".

Haha---

Anyway, for full news, click: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20081121/ap_tr_ge/lt_travel_brief_mexico_living_at_airport

....

p/s: I wonder if he don't know how to use the bathroom to take shower. And there's no way that there is no soap in the bathroom...

p/p/s: This is ridiculous! I bet living in Japan is such a misery for him... Hurm....

No Wonder La.... XD

In Malam Sehati Berdansa this week, the couple Mazin and Anisa were kicked out. And this conversation took place in the living area....

Adik: Baguslah die kluar. Pregnant camtu kalo jatuh kan susah..

Mel : Ok wat... Exercise kan bagus. At least anak dia nanti aktif, x gmok cam ko.

(Paused. My adik buat muka)

Mel : Ckp psl ni, waktu ibu pregnant *Mel dulu, ibu exercise x?

Ibu : Tak. Ibu paling pemalas waktu pregnantkan *Mel dulu. Suka tido. Balik keje je tido. Aktiviti Pelitawanis (klab wanita kat TNB) pon ibu x join. Nak pegi dapur pon payah.

Mel & Adik : Patutlah *Mel pemalas!

Mel : (dalam otak je) Kaki tido plak tu! And kaki bangku. Hehe....


The moral of the story:
For pregnant ladies, please do workout. And don't do anything bad - the baby will turn out the way you raise him/her in your tummy. And for the hubby, please take care of ur wife. U dont want ur baby to mess up when they grow up...


note: '*Mel' is referring my nickname in the family, which is totally confidential! Hehe...

I'm Full!

This whole week, the only fruit I eat is persimmons (some call it yufu). The whole week!

Mom was so thrilled to find large persimmons so cheap at a mall in Kajang (RM0.85 each), she bought a dozen of it. But then, when the mall raised up the price, she went to pasar malam and was more thrilled to find persimmons at cheaper price (RM0.80 each) and bought 2 dozens of it! (Mom can be like like Misae sometimes) And dad doesn't like it much, so the only ones who ate it were the three of us (mom, adik, and me)!

And mom suddenly cut her tongue (she got a sensitive tongue) and refuse to eat it no more!

These are what's left now. And I'm not gonna eat it anymore. I'm sick of it!

But mom said "if you two not gonna eat it, it'll turn bad. That's a waste of money!"

I'm thinking of giving it to the neighbour, but mom'll surely know. Anyone wants them??

THE IMAGE

I found this from a blog tuneyourlife, and I thought my friends should really see this.

LOOK CLOSELY

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

You saw what you should see...

I'm not doing any porno post or whatsoever...

There's an explaination to that:

Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!

Try figuring it out!

I saw what you saw to. That, I think, proves that we're not innocent young children anymore...

p/s: If you failed to figured out the dolphines in 6 seconds, you probably should consider seeking help from optometrist, or something wrong with your brain. lol.

Again...At home...Doing Nothing....

That's the problem when I'm broke and I sleep so late!

I slept around7.30 in the morning. I thought I heard my mom's voice asking whether I wanna follow her to a relative's wedding, but I thought it was just a dream. I was half asleep when I say 'no' (which I didn't remember say it, and my brother swore I even said "nak buat ape gi tengok orang kawin? boring la.."). When I wake up aroun 2.30, the house was already emptied. I was left alone!

Alone! At home! Sitting in front of the TV watching the documentaries in Discovery Channel (there's nothing interesting on air!), surf the net, eat, TV some more...... How I wish I have some money and able to go out! But since I'm broke, I wish I wasn't up so late last night - the wedding may be boring, but at least I can go out! Waaaaaaa...........................

~We long for holidays when our days are packed with classes... We long for classes when our days are empty with holidays~

Namae wa? - "The Berries Siblings"

I give nicknames to all my favourite belongings. I wonder if it's a weird thing to do, but I certainly like it. It's as though they are my friends.

It started out with my car, name Blackberry. He was originally "Antique Blackberry" since he's black and it's... erm... you can say he looks a little aged. But then I realized rather than antique, he actually looks more like a thug with all those scars (scratches) and the jaw fracture (the bumper's hanging out of its place), so I remove "antique" in the name.

Then I name my laptop Mulberry (since my Yahoo username at that moment was Melberry). And then my bag for class is Cherry Tree (it's written on her when I bought her).

Then I realized all of them are BERRIES!

Later, I found myself calling out for some more berries - my MP3 (Cranberry - after the band I used to like back at school - The Cranberries), my phone (Merry - I was reading One Piece when I named her, and their ship is called Going Merry), my thumbdrive (Blueberry, coz his skin is blue), and my portable reading light (Lolliberry, coz she looks like a lollipop!)

I think my insanity's going way too far.... Should I be sad? Should I? Should I? (feeling so hyped up~)

Sakit ke....???

I kept wondering was it the broadband connector device or my laptop or the line itself that made streaming ridiculously slow, like siput b*bi. And since the connection was so slow, i didn't bother to update the antivirus for 3 weeks.

And after 1hr 43min 25sec of the updating process, I scanned my laptop and tadaaa!!! 3 trojan and 1 worm was detected! My lappy's ill!!! No wonder streaming was that slow (I didnt realize it was also slow during offline, since the only things i do offline are reading ebooks, watching videoes, and listening to the MP3).

Cian Mulberry<---my lappy's name (lantak korang la kalo nak kata the name's too cute for me). I let it ill for a long time....

Count Cain manga

Currently reading Count Cain manga online in onemanga (and save the pics so I can have the whole collections in my hard disk. Not 'coz I couldn't download it elsewhere, it's just that my antivirus is not the superpower one so I don't trust any downloading in the internet...). This story is so cool, I tell you. So mysterious, so dark, so deep... I sunk into the darkness of misery they brought me into (wulamak! ayat...!)

The story revolves around the political, mysterious and miserable life of noble families, especially the Count's family. The Count himself has a terrible past involving his mean father and how he was born. And to live in a family who collects poisons as a hobby, he grew up to be a smart but cold-blooded guy. He inherit the title Count by killing his father, but soon discovered that his father is still alive. Along with his new foster son, the father hunts the Count - to suck out happiness off the Count as a revenge, and for fun.

It's such a sick story. But you better read it (but if you are shoujo reader, ignore this). For those who have finished reading it, well.... Sorry la for being so outdated! lol

p/s: And there is a continuation of it, Count Cain - God Child. Still haven't come to that. The connection is soooo slow..... T-T

My New Template!♥

I've changed my templates for more than 20 times in 3 days! It's so hard, y'know, to have been so stupid in generating codes and stuff, but yet so picky and sadly i got stuck in blogskin.com which contains the whole lots of skins that is mostly not even close to what i wanted (mengada!)

And I finally end up with this one - Butterfly from bloggerbuster.com. Simple, not so cheerful yet not so gloomy, and elegent. Love it! Phew~

But someone IM me bragging she found the template I was using, and it was all over the net, not only in bloggerbuster. Really? How come I didn't find them? Anyway, why did I felt like she was teasing me for not being able to create my own template like her? Huhuuuuu.... Sape yang makan cili tu, rasa-rasalah pedasnye, ye.... Hurm... really wanna learn about all these... Anyone, help me~

Madagascar 2 - must watch!

Huh? Already 20th? Ala.... If only I didn't fall asleep after my dad finished using his broadband.... I suppose to write it yesterday....

Anyway, MADAGASCAR 2 - A must-watch movie, the most hillarious of the year!!!

Went out with my old friends (plus my not-so-little brother) to watch it, and the ticket is selling fast like ayam goreng crispy in Pasar Malam Putrajaya! Lucky Hady is the neighbour of Alamanda (his apartment is just across the road), so he got to get the back row seats for the five of us before noon. But it’s the last row so the seats are 90 degrees, so parallel to the wall and my back couldn’t lay restfully. Err... I’m not blaming you, Hady (not 100% anyway. lol.)

But seriously, you guys out there who’s running out of money, you have to get them somehow. I mean, with your ID, it’ll only cost you RM7 at the most. And don’t think about waiting for it at Speedy or downloading it ‘cuz it’s much much much more fun to watch it on the big screen ‘cuz once you get in, there’s no stopping of the laughing-your-ass-out-loud simptoms. Seriously! Kalah Kungfu Panda!

Yeah, I know... Madagascar 1 wasn’t all so laughable if compared to Kungfu Panda... But Madagascar 2 is different, watch it! Watch it! (and I'm not exaggerating, 'kay!)

Anyway, I challenged Syahir today, on who can collect the cinema tickets the most. He was all bragging about how he’s been collecting the cinema tickets since he’s out of Matrics., so I kinda have a thoughts “why wasn’t I do that? I’m a cinemalover myself. I’ll beat Syahir in no time!”. But no cheating, ‘kay! None of us are allowed to take other people’s ticket (I may not know it, but Allah tau Syahir....*wink*). Hurm.... I already have Madagascar 2 and Quantum of Solace (watched it last week, which is rather a disappoinment. And no more cinema until I get my loan again next month. So pokai.... T-T )

This is my second ticket for the collection. Don't worry, I won't be using my brother's ticket. Adik! Take this! Eh? The guys are gone! I didn't even take any pic for us! And it's so rare to have Hazmi on the group (since he's been away to UTM all this time...)

The Founder Of The Island is Talking!

Yuhuuu!!!!!!!! I'm giving a speech, peeople!!!!

Not that you care, anyway... But at least give me an applause...

*clap!clap!* <---my own claps

This is the second week of our semester break but I feel like we've been in hols for a loooooooooooonngggg time! I feed on nothing but junk food and internet, and I'm 'full' now, thank you very much.

I spent most of my time reading on other people's blog which kinda make me feel envious on how free they can write about anything they like, and I thought "what happen to my old blog? what's the name again? hurm.... seems like i already forgot all about it, and i even forgot the password of the gmail i'm using for it! And I just abandoned it for like less than a month! I really proud of you, my brain. You can forget about almost anything but the junky thoughts, huh?

Oh well, how about starting a new one? This time, I'm writing what I think I'm writing. This blog will be about..... y'know.... stuff! hurm.... How long will this blog lasts? We'll see about it... But in the mean time, those who find my blog nice can keep following, and those who don't, just stay away, 'kay!